Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize