Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
