You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
