is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
