I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
