Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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