i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
