did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
