She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
