she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
