I will die if light touches me.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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