Need sex. Gaining weight.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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