The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
