I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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