i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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