I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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