Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
