Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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