I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
