i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
