She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
