Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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