I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
