My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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