so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
