ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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