His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Randomize
