Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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