so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
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