SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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