I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
