Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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