Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Randomize
