Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
