Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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