I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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