It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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