...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize
