Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
