I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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