Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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