Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
