just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
