You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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