Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
