My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I'm lost and stupid without you.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
