My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
