Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
