Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
