I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
