you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
